Don’t let little niggles rob you of beauty sleep. Here’s expert advice on how not to sweat the small stuff.
6. Finding the right job
A study conducted by Harvard University set out to measure the effect of writing down goals and aspirations on the attainment of these goals, and the results were amazing: by a large margin, students who had consciously written down what they hoped to achieve in the future succeeded in reaching their goals compared to fellow students whose ambitions remained vague and unmapped. Says Dr Kevin Lentin, Cape Town chiropractor and wellness coach, “If you don’t know where you are going, you’re not going to get there. Spend time carefully assessing every aspect of what the right job means for you, considering the hours, the salary, a company car, flexi-time etc. The more you focus and the more specific your requirements, the better the chances of reality.” Focusing intent in this way sets in motion a sequence of events which get you to where you want to be.
7. Lifestyle balance
Trying to do all things well – having a career, being a lover, mom, daughter, friend – can mean not a lot of downtime or focus on oneself. Says Kevin, “In achieving the optimum lifestyle, responsibility rests squarely on your shoulders, and it requires discipline to make the appropriate changes. A common misconception is that having a better lifestyle means doing more when, in fact, the opposite is true: having too many balls in the air creates stress, anxiety and worry, and takes the enjoyment out of life. Start by doing less and simplifying your life – take more R&R, smell the coffee, spoil yourself and remove conflict, negativity and unnecessary pressures from your life. If you find yourself rushing around all day, stop, stand still and ask yourself where you were going in such a hurry? Now and again, make a point of doing nothing. Find a mentor – someone who, in your estimation, has the perfect life – and copy how they live.”
8. Money
Financial stress is one of the top issues facing South Africans today, with many people jobless, living in fear of retrenchment or losing their homes. On the upside, South Africa escaped largely unscathed from the global recession, and property has continued to increase in value by 30% over the past five years. The rand is stronger than ever, interest rates have dropped, and ours is one of the easiest countries in the world in which to start and run a small business. By cutting down on unnecessary spending and clearing debt, putting 10% of your salary aside each month and investing wisely, it is possible to afford yourself a measure of economic security. Says Jenny Hall, Cape Town financial advisor, “Make every effort to clear debt. Once you have done this, the best kind of investment depends on when you will need the money.” Consult a financial advisor you trust and let them help you draw up the best short- and long-term financial plan for you.
9. Finding a partner
“When you focus your whole existence on finding a partner, the message you put out is that you are lacking,” suggests Jolynne. “People have a finely-tuned radar for neediness, and it’s not an attractive quality. Since you are the expert on you, and the person you’re meeting has only known you for a very short time, your attitude towards yourself is all they have to go on. If you’re communicating that you’re not that great/attractive/worthwhile, they will believe you. And the contrary holds. When you resonate inner happiness and contentment, people will like you and be drawn to you. If you believe you’ll never find the right partner, you become a self-fulfilling prophecy. Focus your attention away from finding a partner, and instead fill your time with good friends, being happy and taking part in activities you enjoy. The right person will find you.”
10. Having a baby
While many of us spent our 20s worrying about the possibility of getting pregnant, in our 30s and 40s the focus shifts to anxiety around not being able to have children. Everybody knows the double-bind of the modern age: by the time women are emotionally and financially ready for babies we are nearing the end of our body’s ability to conceive. Unfortunately, there is no getting around this conundrum. Says Charlotte Dahlbäck, Swedish gynaecologist, “if you have concerns about your fertility, a gynae can confirm that you are producing healthy eggs. A new test called the AMH test can pick up the level of anti-Müllerian hormone in your blood, which is a pretty accurate indicator of whether your ovaries are functioning well.” Chances are if you haven’t waited too long you won’t have trouble conceiving when the time is right, so relax and try to ignore the horror stories. And when you do meet The One, be sure to have the baby conversation early on. Disagreeing on the issue of having children is a major cause of divorce.
Trackbacks/Pingbacks
[...] >> NEXT [...]