Clinical psychologist and performance consultant Neil Tuck explains that in order to sustain wellbeing, it is vital to be in touch with the “authentic self”, and that solitude is one of the ways to achieve this.
“The demands of modern living can so easily cause us to be come estranged from our authentic self; we live our lives at such a frenetic pace, and so much of our focus and energy is on ‘doing’ and ‘having’ that we forget to ‘be’,” he says.
Neil suggests that everyone takes the time for a personal retreat now and then, the key ingredients of which are silence, space and solitude. “Treat yourself to your own company – it may feel uncomfortable at first, but the eventual pay-off will be worth it,” he says. However, be sensitive to others at the same time. Taking time for your self is not the same thing as being selfish. “It’s important to share your intentions with friends and loved ones,” notes Neil. “Although this is a very private ‘journey’ that you will take, you owe it to those close to you to inform them of what you’re doing and why.
Your explanation should re-assure them that this is a positive gesture of self-development, rather than any crisis-driven escape that has them worrying about your wellbeing or whether you are ever going to return!”
While seeking periods of solitude is beneficial and can greatly enhance a life, it’s important to bear in mind that spending too much time alone is one of the recognised warning signs of depression, say the South African Depression and Anxiety Support Group. If someone close to you crosses the line between seeking healthy doses of solitude and withdrawing from all social activity, don’t ignore the situation, says SADAG. If in doubt, experienced counsellors are available at SADAG, between 8am and 7pm, Monday to Friday, and between 8am and 5pm on Saturdays, for telephone counselling, advice and referrals, on 011-262 6396 or Toll-free 0800 205026 or Sms 31393
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