By Sara Mould
Here’s how to turn a can’t do mindset into a can-do attitude.
Excuses provide us with an easy way to settle for less. We make excuses because it seems easier than facing change, safer than risking failure, or more comfortable than taking responsibility. But check yourself when you next utter “I can’t because…”; you may be missing out on great opportunities for progress.
“We have a built-in safety mechanism of excuses to try and protect and preserve us by generating feelings of nervousness or fear when we’re faced with change,” says life coach Bill Burridge. Every time you’re faced with a question that invites you to step out of your comfort zone, your brain tries to send ‘excuse’ thoughts to keep us on familiar tuft. But these avoidance tactics to change can limit our life experience, our joy, and prevent us from reaching our potential.
Say yes to progress by cultivating a can-do attitude:
‘I’m too busy…’
What you do with your time reflects your choices in life. Re-examine your priorities and resolve to act accordingly. “Think about times of crisis when you had to drop what you were doing and act. You did this because you prioritised that action over everything else,” says Burridge. Not many people get to the end of their lives and say “I wish I’d spent more time at the office.”
‘I don’t deserve it…’
This is one of the commonest sub-conscious excuses we women fall back on and it’s rooted in poor self-esteem. “If you feel you’re not worthy it’s because someone else planted those thoughts there. Take back your life!” says Burridge. Learn to put yourself first and invest in yourself. “This is not a selfish approach, but recognition of the fact that the only person you can truly be responsible for is you,” he says. If you want a fast route to self-confidence – be kind and charitable. It’s virtually impossible to dislike yourself when you are being benevolent.
‘It’ll be too difficult…’
You have a choice: you can either believe something is too difficult to achieve – which will discourage you from accomplishing anything – or you can start believing in yourself. “When you’re trying to achieve something big, the trick is to break down your goal into smaller, manageable milestones,” advises Burridge. “Then concentrate on how to achieve the next milestone rather than the end goal,” he says. Before you know it you’ll be halfway there and your confidence will soar!
‘I can’t afford it…’
This excuse is also about choices. You may say you don’t have the money to take the trip of your dreams, yet you find the cash to buy designer clothes. Even if you have piles of unopened bills, don’t align yourself with poverty. This choice will attract shortage. Nick Williams, author of Powerful Beyond Measure (Bantam Press) says “There’s little likelihood that we’ll prosper unless we develop a positive attitude towards money.” Don’t let worries about money dominate your thinking; let your desires fill your mind.
Remember:
1. You are what you think.
2. Every time you make an excuse, identify it with a name. If you practise naming your excuses you’ll be able to train your brain to avoid negative thoughts.
3. We can’t change anyone; we can only change ourselves. Next time you’re surrounded by negative people, say to yourself: “It may be true for you, but it’s not true for me.”
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