Living a better quality of life can be as simple as making the best choice from whatever is available.
“Best” is a multifaceted concept. Choosing the best for breakfast, lunch, and dinner will encourage you to consider which foods are the most nutritious, the most delicious, even the most fairly priced.
Use your new “best” habit in other areas of your life too. Stop buying the ill-fitting jeans simply because they are on sale or taking part in a conversation that is negative or gossipy, and see your whole life transform.
Be positive
“When we begin to adhere to a higher standard in any part of our lives, we start to look at the other parts that aren’t reflecting our revised intentions,” says life coach Gail McMeekin, author of The Power of Positive Choices (Conari Press). “We need to communicate to the people around us that we are raising the bar, that we want higher-quality conversations and higher-quality experiences.”
As children, most of us had no problem wanting (and asking for) the prettiest dress in the store or the biggest cookie on the plate. Yet many women lose that youthful sense of entitlement as we internalise the message that nice girls leave what they really want for someone else to have. We see sacrifice as a virtue, even when it’s essentially meaningless.
To protect ourselves from something so scary, a lot of us learned the ‘burnt toast syndrome’ from our mothers or older sisters, where we’ll say, ‘I’ll take the burnt piece and give you the good one.’ We can’t help but feel conflicted, to think, ‘Who am I to take the best?’”
“When we choose the best, we fill up our spirit and nourish our soul,” says Richard Carlson, author of Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff (Hyperion). “This leads to a happier existence, which is, quite simply, good news for everyone. When we’re satisfied, our natural instinct is to reach out to others, to be kind, loving, and generous. When we don’t have what we need inside, we can’t do this.”
Be deserving
Many of us suffer from “scarcity consciousness,” a feeling that the best of life is reserved for select bluebloods, and we “ordinary” folk are supposed to accept what’s left: the discounted, the generic, the day-old.
Such notions can stay with people long after they know, and can afford, better. Scarcity consciousness is not always about money. “It can seem that there is a finite amount of even the intangibles – love, beauty, fulfilment – and that other people are more deserving of these than we are,” says Leslie Levine, author of Wish It, Dream It, Do It (Fireside). “We’re still learning to be good caretakers of ourselves, to distinguish between good guilt (“I hurt someone and need to make amends”) and bad guilt (“I took myself to lunch when I could have been doing volunteer work”).
Meanwhile, if Champagne, caviar, and cruise ships leave you cold, that doesn’t mean yours is a cut-rate destiny. “The best in your life is what will give you pleasure and what will help you meet your goals,” McMeekin notes. “Carrie in Sex and the City needed those Manolo Blahniks. If I wore them, I’d be terrified they’d get rained on or that I’d break an ankle. I just wouldn’t get as much pleasure out of those shoes as she did.
Be happy
However we define our personal best, we all seek the contentment that comes from knowing the things that most matter to us are being taken care of. It’s the feeling you might have coming back to the office after a satisfying lunch: Your clothes fit well and feel comfortable. You’re having a good hair day and a good kids-and-husband day. Work is going smoothly, and your plans for the evening, whether for book club or the opera, are exactly what you’d like.
This delicious equilibrium – the result of choosing the best for yourself in countless tiny ways, all day, every day – is the ultimate luxury. “Our culture tells us the best that’s out there is more stuff, but that’s not the half of it,” McMeekin says. “Sometimes we want fewer things to take care of and more space in our lives. Many of the women I work with are screaming for stillness and serenity – a massage or a retreat or a day off.
For some, choosing the best can be a day of doing nothing”After you get a taste of meeting your own desires, it leads you step-by-step into wanting to satisfy your deeper needs – for more satisfying work, greater intimacy, more creativity.
8 Avenues to a higher quality of life:
1. Food
Eat the healthiest, freshest, most colourful foods, organically grown if possible. And remember that “best” also includes what you have a craving for right now.
2. Mornings
What you do in the first hour of your day sets the tone for the remaining 23. If you fit in some spiritual practice (prayer, meditation, journal writing), a little yoga, and a good breakfast, you’ll feel terrific about yourself when you leave the house.
3. Self-care
Choose products that align with your goals, practices that nurture your body and soul, and a health-and-grooming regimen you’ll stick with no matter what.
4. Support team
You want the top doctor, therapist, trainer, coach, lawyer, or accountant – not necessarily the most expensive, but someone you can relate to, respect, and trust.
5. Friendships
Every person is valuable, but not everyone is ideal company. Favour those whose energy enlivens you and whose personality complements yours. “You’re the most important person in your life,” says author Richard Carlson. “You deserve to be with great people!”
6. Tools of your trade
If you’re an artist, you’re entitled to quality brushes and quality paint. If you sew, you’re worth great fabric and a well-appointed sewing room. If you work in an office, you deserve good lighting, a properly maintained computer, and a desk that holds your basic supplies.
7. Literature
Light reading can be a delicious diversion, but really fine books let your brain travel first-class. “People who write well and tell their story in a way that’s clear and rich bring that clarity and richness into your life,” says author Leslie Levine.
8. Speech
Take time to choose the optimal words, whether you’re talking to yourself or to someone else. Speak from a place of confidence and self-esteem, yet always be kind to others: They’re looking for the best in life, too.
Comments