Arrest those negative thoughts before they wreck your happy-day plans. Next time you feel that dark cloud hovering, try these simple bounce-back strategies.
Focus on the positive
“Think of your life as a garden. If you go into the garden looking for the weeds you will not feel pleasure walking there,” says Dr Dannerup. Instead learn to take note of, and amplify, all the blessings and beauty in your life. To apply this principle, every day find five things that you can appreciate about yourself before you leave the house in the morning, she suggests.
Put things in perspective
Write down the following thought on a piece of paper: “Just because I feel it does not mean it’s true” and keep the note in your handbag. When your emotions start to spiral out of control, reflect on these words to put things in perspective. This will help you to identify when you’re over-reacting. Gradually, you’ll be able to detach from the situation and observe patterns in your behaviour. That’s the first step in changing the way you respond.
Manage your emotions
“When we release feelings, we stop acting them out on other people,” says Professor Ingrid bacci, author of the Art of Effortless living (Transworld Publishers ltd). If you communicate your feelings, anger is channelled outward instead of building up inside. When you feel frustrated, angry or upset, you should be able to say so without exploding. Your goal is to become assertive without being aggressive, so it’s important to be able to say: this is what I feel; this is what I want; this is what I think.
Avoid unhealthy habits
When we’re distressed we often turn to negative coping mechanisms. It’s tempting to find relief in a cigarette, food or drink to get through a bad day, but this only exacerbates the problem — and leads to feelings of guilt and low self-esteem.
Get organised
“Make a list of outstanding tasks around the house or at work and tick each one off after doing it. Congratulate yourself when you’ve completed each one, no matter how small,” says Dr Dannerup. Start with the smallest task so you get your self-appreciation started early in the day, she suggests. This is a great way to build a sense of achievement, and it’s hard to have a bad day when you’re feeling super-productive. Plus, others appreciate you when you appreciate yourself, so you’ll also have friendlier faces around you.
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