It took a bad break-up for one woman to learn how to nourish herself — body and soul.
Do men come with nutritional labels we choose to ignore? This thought occurred to me on my eighth day of post-break-up grieving. The previous week hadn’t been my most productive (think PJ’s, tubs of ice cream, and multiple viewings of Pretty in Pink). And of course, no mourning period would have been complete without the inevitable “What’s wrong with me?” I was still wallowing when my father called. “Well,” he said, “everything has a shelf life.”
The first time I remember hearing that term was in a grade six lesson on health. Food that exceeds its “use by” or “best before” date, my teacher explained, loses nutritional value and eventually goes rancid. The same thing, I realised, just might hold true for a relationship that’s past its prime: It not only fails to fortify you, it can even make you sick.
My ex had become the equivalent of expired milk – spoiled and sour. Over the six years we’d been together, he’d turned increasingly judgmental and critical. I can’t recall the first or second break-up, but by round four, his behaviour had done quite a number on my self-esteem. So why had I gone back for more?
Probably because I’d lost any sense of myself. I was so focused on keeping my significant other happy I never took the time to think about what I needed. I’d given up Saturday hikes to play darts at the pub and swapped Monday night yoga for a night of TV. I couldn’t recall the last time I’d made a salad; my ex ate only pizza, burgers, and Chinese food.
My waistline definitely paid the price for our unhealthy union. I’d gained 7kg, which made sense when I looked at the array of biscuits, chips, and crackers in my kitchen. There were three types of fizzy drinks, but no vegetables. A lone, bruised banana sat in my fruit basket. And then I spotted it: There, on the fridge door, behind the cluttered magnets and take-away menus, was my workout and healthy-eating log from a few years back.
It was time to start respecting my body – and myself – again. I began by clearing out the pantry and fridge and restocking them with nutritious foods. I treated myself to a new pair of trainers and four running outfits — one for each day of the week I committed to exercising. I started slowly, increasing my distance each time. The longer I ran, the more confident I became.
Eliminating excess sugar, preservatives, and toxic men from my life helped me lose the extra weight I’d been carrying around and regain my self-worth. Not long after, I met Mike… while I was out for a run. Two years and one marathon later, I married him. Like a balanced diet, he complements my lifestyle and keeps me strong and sane. I don’t need a label to tell me that this relationship is meant to last.
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