Embarrassing sex stories

Ever since we learned about basic we’ve been interested in how other people do it:

Story one: When I was younger, I had a cop boyfriend who stayed in the single’s quarters. He sneaked me into his room one night, and we were feeling slightly kinky, so I let him handcuff me. Things were getting really heated when suddenly the door burst open for a surprise inspection – and I couldn’t even cover myself up! We all looked at each other in shock, then his superior said “right, carry on” and left. I was completely humiliated, especially since the superior was a good friend of my dad’s!

Story two: My boyfriend was admitted to hospital a few years ago and one evening when I visited him we decided to do our thing in the en suite bathroom. Things were really hot and heavy when I accidentally pressed the emergency button on the wall! The nurses came rushing in (obviously thinking there was someone in distress) and caught us in the act! We were so embarrassed at the time, but still laugh at that story today.

Story three: My fianc went on a business trip for three weeks and was due back on the Friday evening. I decided to surprise him with a little role-playing when he returned and went to his place dressed in a teeny, tiny, risqu, dominatrix outfit. Right on time I saw his car pull into the driveway and as the front door opened I shouted out: “Now mister where have you been for so long. Drop your pants and get over here for your discipline”. When he didn’t say anything I went into the lounge cracking my whip and was mortified to find his boss standing there too. Turns out they’d arranged for the boss’s wife to pick him up at our place to save her driving out to the airport. We still enjoy sex games and surprises, but we’ve got a little warning system in place now to prevent future mishaps!

Story four: While having a heated session with my partner (in his parents’ house) a huge spider fell onto my breasts. I screamed like never before and before we knew it his dad, thinking we were in danger, had kicked his bedroom door down. He found us both butt naked and me with a spider on my boobs. I’ll never forget the expression on his face. Cringe!

Story five: “My husband and I enjoy our sex toys, so when we took a trip to Malawi earlier this year, naturally I packed one in. When we arrived at the airport I was shocked to see that my bubble-wrapped suitcase had been stripped open. A man came walking up to me waving the dildo in his hand. “Sorry madam,” he said, “we had to open up your luggage as this was buzzing in it!” My advice: leave the sex toys behind if you’re travelling internationally!