“The most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you find someone to love the you you love, well that’s just fabulous,” says the periodically single Carrie Bradshaw in Sex and the City.
Even the most reluctant fan would probably agree with this statement, but discovering the self you truly love can take time, and often numerous failed relationships. The good news for singletons is that being on your own offers the perfect opportunity for self-discovery. Here’s what our singles said:
“Being single is like being on summer holiday all year round. You never have to explain where you are or what time you’re going to be back. You don’t have to plan your meals or make sure there’s milk in the house unless you want to. You’re free to go wherever you want to go and do whatever you want to do. And of course the ultimate summer holiday treat is the no-strings-attached, fun-filled fling. Right now, I wouldn’t trade single life for anything.” — Berna, 27
“There’s a confidence and strength that comes with being single in your 30s. Only now do I truly understand what a healthy, balanced relationship is made of. My life is full and satisfying, and I don’t have to base my decisions on how anyone else feels. I look forward to meeting the right guy, but until then, I’m delighted to have this time to grow and live life with the person I love most — me!” — Lisa, 35
“When you’re in a relationship, it’s very easy to book a week, month, or year up with dinner plans, book clubs, functions and weekends away. But being single allows you to spend time with yourself, which is different to being alone. You can be alone and watch TV or read a book, but you aren’t facing yourself. You spend time doing, but you don’t necessarily spend time just being. My advice to other singles is to take a little time out to say hello to yourself and make sure you enjoy your own company.” — Mary-Anne, 29
“I always thought being in a relationship meant the end of loneliness. I recently ended a relationship in which I felt lonelier than I’ve ever felt before. My partner was always working late, or out with his friends, or too tired to even talk to me. What I realised is that being lonely on your own can actually nourish your soul, if you use this time to do things that make you feel good. I put on my favourite music, pour myself a glass of wine, and wallow in a hot bubble bath for a while. I don’t even think of it as loneliness, it’s ‘me-time’.” — Carol, 30
“When my husband dropped the bombshell that he’d been having an affair for two years, I was devastated, and when he left I couldn’t face getting out of bed each day. But slowly, bit by bit, with my girlfriends’ help, I made it back into the world — and discovered that I’d lost a part of the ‘real’ me during my marriage, making compromises. Rediscovering myself has been incredibly liberating. I’m happier and more fulfilled than I’ve been in years. You don’t need a partner to feel content.” — Francis, 42
“I love that I don’t have to spend all weekend watching mindless sport I have no interest in. Instead I get to go out and have fun with my girlfriends, and just do the things that make me feel good. As all single girls know, sooner or later my man will come along, so I just try to make the most of the freedom of single life while I still have it.” – Anna, 32
“When my husband died at the age of 45, I thought my world had come to an end. It’s taken a few years, but I’m rebuilding my life without him and it’s been very empowering to realise that I can make it on my own. Like Nora in Brothers & Sisters, I plan to stick my nose into everyone else’s business, especially my kids’, and laugh long and loud.” — Katherine, 48
Being single gives you time to remind yourself of your personal goals, and become the person you want to be – and that’s attractive to everyone. – Clea, 26
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