Focus on what you can do to protect yourself from further harm. One of the things that supports violence in a relationship is keeping it secret.
Battered people think there’s something about them that brings on violence. If possible, let someone know what is happening, not only for your sake, but also for your partner’s.
Violence can often be handled more effectively when you admit that it’s happening and get help and support. Violence will continue if it is minimised by either partner.
We all have choices about our behaviour, no matter what the circumstances. Often in situations of violence, the person who strikes out denies this responsibility by blaming it on the other person or on things beyond their control, for example: “She kept at me, so I hit her,” or “I have a temper, just like my father.”
Drugs and alcohol often play a role. Even if some issue is pressing, put off discussing it until both of you are sober. If there’s never such a time, you both need help. Draw up a list of emergency numbers such as the police, a women’s shelter, a crisis helpline, a counsellor, a hotel and a friend. Even if you’ve escaped the situation once, without a sense of empowerment, support and a long-term strategy, you may have to confront violence again.
Where to go for help
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