We make hundreds of choices every single day, ranging from trivial matters such as what to wear, where to eat, or which route to take to work; to bigger decisions, such as whether to sell a property, resign from an unrewarding job or leave an unhealthy relationship.
If you haven’t yet developed confidence in your ability to make decisions, it’s probably a source of stress. For many of us, the default coping strategy is simply putting things off, or deciding not to decide. However, this sabotages self-confidence in the long run and may leave you feeling that life is spiralling out of your control.
On the other hand, by allowing others to make decisions for you, you lose out on the opportunity to develop your own decision-making skills, you avoid taking full responsibility for your life, and you reinforce misperceptions you may have of yourself of not being good enough or clever enough, says life coach Tony Dovale.
What’s the problem
Most often it’s the fear of making the “wrong” decision. “Almost any decision involves some degree of conflict or dissatisfaction, and avoiding decisions often seems easier,” says Johannesburg life coach Elsab Manning. Yet, making your own decisions and accepting the consequences is the only way to feel in control of your time, your success, and ultimately your life. “No one makes the right decision every time, but developing your decision-making skills can increase your success rate,” says Manning.
By procrastinating or putting off decisions, you’re abdicating control, adds Dovale. “Decisions play a fundamental role in creating a more fulfilling life, and every moment of every day is filled with opportunities to make better decisions, which can enhance your life. If you give that up, you’re giving up on controlling your destiny.”
So how can you make better decisionsy Manning suggests getting out pen and paper and practicing these steps:
1. Identify the purpose of your decision
What exactly is the problem to be solved Why should it be solved?
2. Gather information
What are the facts?
3. Identify the standards and criteria that the solution should meet
What are your values/ What will you compromise?
4. Brainstorm and list all possible choices
This will help to generate ideas for possible solutions.
5. Evaluate each choice for its consequences
Use your standards and criteria to determine the pros and cons of each alternative.
6. Determine the best alternative
Based on the outcome of the process discussed above, decide on an option that’s most true to you and your desired outcome. Don’t worry about what other people will think about your decision — ultimately you have to do what’s right for you.
7. Put the decision into action by transforming it into specific plan-of-action steps within a set time frame Set up deadlines for yourself and stick to them. Don’t let other people pressure you to make a decision before you’re ready.
8. Evaluate the outcome of your decision and action taken
What lessons can be learnt? This is an important step for the development of your decision-making skills.
Remember, life’s a continual learning experience, says Dovale. “To learn to swim, you have to get wet. To learn to make good decisions, you have to make some not-so-great ones, and learn from them.” Evaluate the outcome of your decision and action taken. What lessons can be learnt?
This is an important step for the development of your decision-making skills. Remember, life’s a continual learning experience, says Dovale. “To learn to swim, you have to get wet. To learn to make good decisions, you have to make some not-so-great ones, and learn from them.”
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