A busy woman’s life includes work, partner, children, household, exercise, and social events. But constant juggling can lead to fatigue, stress and no personal time, yet she still desires success, satisfaction, health, energy, meaning, pleasure and time for herself.
To achieve these and to avoid burnout, an intervention needs to take place, which is where Dr Linda Friedland’s Seven-Point-Plan, from her book Having It All: A Woman’s Guide to Health and Success (Tafelberg), comes in. “You can ‘have it all’ provided you allow for some imperfection, are well organised and take responsibility for your life choices,” says Friedland.
“Having it all is about integrating aspects of your life in a way that feels good, yet still maintaining your physical health, and achieving peace of mind and a meaningful life.” Friedland knows what she is talking about. She’s a wife, mother of five, a medical doctor, a conference speaker, an author, and radio talk show host among others. Her seven-point plan is her practical, workable solution to handling — and having — it all.
1. POWER
Maximise your physical strength and energy When your body is not strong, you start to experience physical (tiredness, lethargy, headaches) and emotional (irritability) symptoms, plus a weakened immune system. Eat healthily, avoid energy-sapping foods such as saturated fats and refined sugar. Get regular exercise, power-start your day to create a buffer against the onslaught of stress, and get enough sleep.
2. PRIORITIES
Establish what’s important Friedland separates priorities into two lists: The Absolute Fundamentals (children, partner, health), and The Precedence List (responsibilities at home and work). Your responsibilities are then divided in order of significance and time and action can then be taken.
3. PLANNING
Organise your life “Being disorganised is a major stressor,” says Friedland. “Planning is the antidote!” First you need to work out what type of person you are: compulsive, organised, motivated or disorganised. Friedland then lists the following tasks in order to organise your life: be flexible; organise your work area and computer files, your home, and your children; use a planner; schedule in the breaks; stay focused; plan your finances; and accept that you may not be in control of everything.
4. PACE
Do not allow time to control you The greatest excuse women make is “I have no time”. Friedland says this can lead to hurry sickness, which shows itself in heart disease, high blood pressure, infertility, burnout, depression and a possible increased susceptibility to cancer. Time has to be managed effectively for us to improve the pace of our lifestyle.
5. PASSION
Fill yourself with enthusiasm and live with meaning It is said that to have meaning and purpose in life, you have to have passion. Although there is no foolproof way of obtaining passion, Friedland suggests the following steps: take yourself out of the rat race, embark on a brand-new activity, do something you really enjoy, feed the passion by letting your imagination run wild, and finally, make “meaning” your motto.
6. PLEASURE
Actively pursue satisfaction There are so many different types of pleasures to experience. “When you are filling yourself with joyful experiences, you are enhancing your energy and your capacity as a mother, wife, employee and all of your other roles,” says Friedland. Pleasures to be enjoyed include food, pampering, intimacy, small luxuries, and the feeling of giving.
7. PEACE
Make peace with your life and make your life peaceful To find peace or balance, learn to breathe with breathing exercises, develop patience, be disciplined about taking breaks, take a course in meditation, and work with the duality of your heartbeat taking each day as it comes.
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