Neuro-linguistic programming. Wow, sounds like a brain-altering technique straight out of Stanley Kubrick’s A Clockwork Orange. Not to worry, no one’s going to clamp lidlocks onto your eyes and force you to sit through shocking movies in an attempt to alter your behaviour. With neuro-linguistic programming (NLP), the responsibility is yours to actively change your behaviour according to the situation and the person you’re interacting with.
Very basically, NLP deals with the structure of human experience; how we organise what we see, hear and feel and how we edit and filter the outside world through our senses. Communication is so much more than words. In fact, according to NLP trainer Min McLoughlin, our words are generally considered to make up only 7 percent of our total communication. So what we say isn’t nearly as important as how we say it, and we say a lot more than we realise, in a whole lot more ways.
So NLP is a method of attuning yourself to the verbal and non-verbal messages that people constantly give off. By noticing the tone, body language and eye movements of others, you can gain an insight into what they’re really thinking. Conversely, by controlling the signals that you send, you can ensure that people are getting the message you intend.
Where does it come from?
Ardent NLP-ers claim that anyone can do anything excellently. In fact, some of us are even excellent at more negative things like depression and fear, where the excellence doesn’t necessarily translate into a positive reward. But what makes the difference between somebody who is merely competent, and somebody who excels at a given skill? That was the question asked by the founders of NLP, mathematician Richard Bandler and linguist John Grinder.
Through the study of highly successful people, they uncovered common patterns in effectiveness, which led them to create a model of how our brains operate, a model which they named NLP. Within this model, there are many techniques for quick and effective alteration of self-limiting thoughts, behaviours and beliefs. What makes their research special is their use of linguistics and information science combined with insights from behavioural psychology. And this is what distinguishes NLP from life coaching, although many life-coaching programmes use NLP as a base.
There has been a great deal of research into this unusual field – some say it’s fantastic and others think it’s a fake. Of course, there’s a lot of jargon and you will hear the odd zero-to-hero story. So it can be tempting to fob it off as self help rhetoric. But many people who have completed the NLP training swear it has changed their lives.
A reprogramming session
A neuro-linguistic therapist will notice every word and phrase you use as you describe where you are currently in your life, and where you’d like to be. She’ll also take note of every facial expression and body movement. She will help you discover the difference between desired results and undesired results, between behaviours that leave you feeling empowered and those that leave you feeling disempowered. She will reconnect you with your own state of excellence and show you how you are currently using your brain, and how to use it differently to get a different effect. As the NLP saying goes: “If you want something different, do something different!”.
NLP in everyday life
Sheryl Sturges, 47, is a massage therapist and reiki master practising in Washington DC, US. She completed an NLP course with McLoughlin in Cape Town in 1997. While Sheryl doesn’t use NLP explicitly in her work, its theoretical underpinnings support her daily activities and shape the way she approaches every human exchange. “I’m a licensed pilot, but sometimes I find myself afraid when it comes to flying our six-seater plane,” she says.
“But when I choose to, I can assume the ‘state’ or mental attitude and persona of a much braver and more experienced pilot. Sometimes I get into the state of being Sally Ride – the first American woman in space – and my fear level shifts, to become very manageable.” Rosalyn Charlton, 29, an electronic engineer in Durban and a part-time reiki master and healer, makes use of NLP in all aspects of her life. She enrolled in NLP courses with McLoughlin three years ago simply out of curiosity – and her curiosity was more than satisfied. “With NLP being the multi-faceted, multi-dimensional arena that it is, it has as many avenues and applications as personalities out there,” says Charlton. “And you find it sliding into its useful place in your life like a missing puzzle piece.”
Charlton uses the example of relationships. Many of us will notice (if we ever actually take the time to stop to notice) that we seem to fall into traps and repeat certain patterns in our relationships.
These are often detrimental, and lead us constantly to the same destructive places; insults, fights, tears etc. But revealing and subsequently moving past these behavioural patterns can open up new opportunities and experiences. This makes the difference between people who excel and people who simply muddle through, in the way they communicate, motivate, influence, negotiate, lead and empower their own self-development, say the NLP-ers.
And NLP-ers will be your biggest fans, because they know you have the resources and abilities to be whatever you want to be. Isn’t that a comforting thoughtu
For more info, see: www.nlpsa.com or www.nlp.com
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