There’s been a fair amount of hand-wringing in South Africa in the past year. Given the general economic woe, the ongoing crime and corruption, and no chance of letting your candle supply dwindle, the country seems a little messy at the moment.

But don’t let the chaotic state of world affairs reflect in your personal life. In fact, says clinical psychologist Cheryl Sol, when times are tough, our personal resources need to be used wisely. You can’t ignore the realities of crime or the rising interest rates but you can separate the macro and micro issues, and keep perspective on those you can control: your health, your career goals, your relationships and even your finances.

If your life is in order, you’ll feel more grounded and better able to cope, no matter what the greater universe throws out at you. We asked the experts to guide us through a personal life audit.

. RELATIONSHIP AUDIT
Clinical psychologist Cheryl Sol

Relationships are probably the greatest factor in our lives which either boost or drain emotional energy. Good relationships are investments in health, happiness and wellbeing. It is believed that loving thoughts have a healing effect on your body and even the physical act of sex can boost your immune system — so it’s vital for mental and physical health that you invest time and care in making your partnerships the best they can be.

A recent 20-year study suggested that happiness and positive emotions are spread from person to person within a social network; people “catch” emotional states from each other. Our happiness therefore depends on the happiness of the people with whom we are connected, and happiness, like health, becomes a collective phenomenon.

Consider the main relationships in your life. Who have you neglected or taken for grantedt There needs to be an equal exchange of energy in a relationship. Like a bank account, we have to make deposits as well as withdrawals if we are to keep the account afloat. Ask yourself how you rate as a daughter, a granddaughter, a wife or girlfriend, a mother or friend. Consider how you deal with conflict with important people in your life — is it damaging to them or the relationshipr Sometimes, having doubts about yourself can cause you to criticise others as a way to make you feel better. This is a destructive way to conduct your relationship — think about what you really feel before you project your insecurities onto others.

Don’t let others drain you. Consider which friends no longer add to your life: they take and don’t give, you have little in common anymore, or they make you feel bad about yourself. Now, ask yourself: What behaviour do I have to address in order to improve my relationshipsm

CAREER AUDIT
Executive and life coach Michal Leon of TML Coaching

For most people, work dominates the day. You spend at least eight hours earning a living each day and many people view work as something to be endured rather than enjoyed. If this is the case, you need to ask yourself: To what extent are your needs and wants, preferences and aspirations fulfilled by your work at the momenty You’re looking to see how wide the gap is between how you would like your career to look and how it is now, in reality.

What’s crucial in this audit, is to strip your thinking of all the “shoulds” and “ought tos” — it’s not about what your mother/husband/boss/best friend may think is right for you. It’s about what you think is right for you.

There is a high emotional price tag attached to ignoring your authentic needs and preferences in your career. This price tag includes a great deal of anger and resentment, and can chip away at your self-esteem. To counter this, create a vision of how you would like your career to be, then set some realistic goals to get there.

If you find this process difficult, you may want to explore it with a professional (a life or performance coach, counsellor or therapist). Just as you would not consider journeying to an unknown destination without a map, so you need a career map. In coaching, you start by looking at the end — what is it that you’d like to be remembered for This exercise can help uncover what is really important to you and is the first step in charting our own map. The next stage would be setting the goals, and drawing up a plan. French writer Antoine de Saint-Exuppry had the right idea: “A goal without a plan is just a wish.”

â HEALTH AUDIT
Healthcare professional and author of Self (Tafelberg) Dr Linda Friedland

The role that good health plays is something we often take for granted, until illness sets in. In your mad rush to be a better daughter/mother/wife/manager, you may unknowingly be sacrificing your health (see p35 more on women who do too much). If you work long hours while taking care of everybody at home, eat on the run, rest little, sleep poorly, smoke and drink too much and exercise too little, your body will take a beating.

A nutritious diet is the cornerstone of a healthy lifestyle. A good diet is one that emphasises good-quality fruits, vegetables, wholegrains and low-fat dairy products; includes lean meats, poultry, fish, beans, eggs, nuts and drinking water; and is low in saturated fats, trans fats, cholesterol, salt and added sugars.

An equally important element in maintaining health is exercise. Make it a priority in your life and reap the benefits. Remember to include both cardiovascular, flexibility and strength training.

It’s also important to appreciate the value of preventative care and get to know your own personal health parameters and possible risk factors for illness. Don’t skip your annual Pap smear and pelvic examination, and check your breasts for irregularities every month just after your period. Find out about your family health history — knowing how your relatives passed away can help you determine your risk for many diseases.

n FINANCE AUDIT
Director of Precept Wealth Solutions, Mandy Stratfold

Managing your money well and being financially independent means being in a position where money constraints no longer get in the way of achieving your ideal life. To help you get started, try putting this plan into action:

Step 1 Keep one month’s salary in a money market account that you can draw from at short notice. This will cover job-loss shortfalls, emergency car repairs or a big medical bill.

Step 2 You can’t manage your funds without knowing your real cost of living. Prepare a monthly budget of what your average monthly costs are and then determine if you’re living within your means. Preferably, your monthly income should exceed your monthly costs, but if you find yourself in a position of debt, be aware of the different “costs” of debt. Find out what interest rate you’re being charged, what the repayment term is and what early settle-ment options there are. Try and eliminate this debt as quickly as possible.

Step 3 If you need to submit a tax return, make sure that this is done timeously to avoid paying penalties and interest on late payments.

Step 4 Ensure you have a will detailing how your assets should be distributed and, if you have children, who is nominated as your children’s guardian. Make sure you have sufficient life cover to clear any debts that you may have, as well as disability cover in the event that you’re unable to work.

Step 5 With an emergency fund saved, your debt under control and life cover provided for, you need to save towards your retirement. Choose a long-term investment fund. How much should you be savingt The simple answer: as much as you can afford.

s SOUL AUDIT
Mind-body coach Adels Green (www.lifephilosophy.co.za)

Whether we know it or not, our soul provides the fire that drives us. When we’re not living in accordance with our authentic self (when we’re not aligning our core values to each area of our life), it can impact on our emotional, mental and physical health.

Negative thoughts, low self-image, anger, frustration and pain dump toxic waste into your mind, just as junk food does to your body. To lead a happy, soul-full life, you should spend time giving your mind regular “detoxes” by becoming aware of your thoughts.

For some, finding this quiet head space could involve prayer or meditation, simply taking 15 minutes for yourself in the bath, or watering the garden. Quiet head space is about being present in the moment and allows whatever answers you need to come to you.

Expressing how you feel in a healthy way is also part of maintaining the balance of the soul. Some of us will need an outlet to express the self through a hobby — it may be to paint to let go of negative emotions. Others integrate it in their daily environments, like a manager mentoring a trainee.

Part of overhauling your soul might mean that you check the way you talk to yourself. Keep tabs on where downward-spiralling conversations are going. Redirect negative emotions with more empowering conversations. By giving your soul-side an overhaul, you’ll locate a constant source of calm and contentment that you can draw on whenever you want.